Monsoon

I can smell the rain
Fresh summer wet and tangled
Between my desires
So I found you there
Dug my way out of the matrix
Or so I thought

Damp between the sheets
Flame red lips
My legs spread wide
I could feel your stubble
Against my cheek

As you pushed it in then out
The tunnel of love
Its was hot and sticky
But I was searching
For that spiritual connection
For some raw light

For nirvana to pass between
Our juices, for it to be more
Than this fuckery

He wants to move fast
But I like swia swia
Touching my walls
Tickling my spice

I can taste the desert on his tongue
Just one more bite

I found it here – what you say?
The source of all my agony
Laid out like a dying bee
With trembling stripes

Back here in this concrete jungle
Without space I waited
Prayed for a tiny miracle
To wash it from my psyche.

© May 2012 Maria.Gornell

Raise the dead

There’s a choker round her neck, tumbling down between her ample breasts; with precious stones. His hands, big and flat covering her heart – maybe he’s afraid the light with subside as he opens his mouth and inhales her aura. His tobacco stained teeth continue to munch away on her creative fire, those voices told him ‘strip it bare, take out her throat, that’ll stop her voice – silence her centuries of divine presence from lingering and banishing man to the shadow where he can concoct another tragedy and spit his illicit filth about how dirty her womb is, how blind her second sight is. The soul of the world will call to the elements that man has stolen the gold from the earth. Next his semen will dry up like a drought, all the rivers will turn away refusing to see his reflection, refusing to wash his tired body. When they find his bleached white bones in a desert somewhere, the mother will come and grind him up – back into the earth back into the light. She will sing of ‘the lost ones’ and the women will rise once more.

© May 2012 Maria.Gornell

To Begin again – NaPoWriMo day 12

Hi everyone, want to thank you for reading and subscribing to this blog, sorry not had a chance to get round to visiting everyone yet but will do soon. I’ll finding it hard this year to write a poem a day for this challenge, something strange happened when I gave up smoking I’ve not been able to write as prolific as before, thought this might help but not pleased with a lot of the work produced, however at least its getting something down most is posted unedited and at draft stage which may be removed later if i decide I want to improve on any pieces. So I’ll be away for next 2 weeks in the desert hope to get lots of inspiration there and post some of the work when I return, i’ll try to stick to the poem a day and maybe even post some journal entries. If you have enjoyed reading some of the work here could I point you in the direction of my first chapbook recently published with Erbacce press the work is of much better standard  than that posted here and its a beautiful little collection which the editor really put together well I think so please do if you can afford it I know times are hard for us all, but its great to support small press companies and us little known writers. Here is the link – http://www.erbacce-press.com/#/maria-gornell/4561458459 and if you go back into the archive a few weeks maybe you will also be able to read a review of the book.

sending love and blessings

That old lie came rolling down
With the tears; a dull ache now
Projected across the world.
You thought it fossilised

Yes
Thought yourself a cold frantic
Artist released from lovers curse
That which amounted to an empty
Search; took everything you had
To pick up the pen
Paint and brush
To draw a circle round your worth

To give every ounce of you
Every fibre of your being
To a new mission in life
One that cuts away pieces
Of your flesh
Bleeds across a page
Paints your reality

Till the day came you knew this gift
Might vanish and you must return
To the world; sit amongst the people
Incite and unite all the stories
Gathered in your heart

That day came when you cannot
Avert your eyes to his gaze
Pulling you; gathering you
With a force you cannot escape

And you know the universe has sent
Him, you know it’s time to step beyond
That comfort zone; you can feel it
Roll across the pit of your stomach
That ache set free

And his eyes wanting, holding you
so you feel the fear and do it anyway
Run go on run into the wild….

© April 2012 Maria.Gornell

Delete NaPoWriMO day 11

I once read you religiously – till my eyes fell blinded
By light; weight of words hung shutter in philosophical
Curve – a life/death cycle, sometimes its clinical cold
Had me reaching for a bottle of plonk.

Mouthing words resembled in ‘has it come to this’
But I never judged or blamed you; life has a habit of
Doing us like that, right?

And yet I know you to be shallow, fickle heart – because
who reaches for a thesaurus in the throes of passion
who hits the (eject) button in the middle of tantric sex.

Miles and miles of distance didn’t erase my exposure
Nor curve the tide of creative connection, distorted
In expectations of kudos’s, was I missing something?

Because I thought we were friends, though it seems
My brief need of space = gratification that you would
Take pleasure in delete delete delete.

But I suppose I was no more than a brief egotistical fix
Similar to the needle fed through those closed veins
That whimpered when empty

That throat so hollow it diffused even the meaning
In living – but words can go only so far to say

You needed us like the brown taste of escapism
The photosynthesis of plants in apartment flats isolation
The old man tending garden rewarded with weeds

Did you find a sufficient killer for wallflowers?
Or is just that you are so much dead weight
Striving on hill Billy politics – the monotony
Of moon shine brewed weightless spasm.

That you forgot – a person behind a screen
Is human after all.

© April 2012 Maria.Gornell

Higher and higher – NaPoWriMo day 10

Awakened in the cold port of my calling
drum vibration; a fierce wind
strong heart.

Can you hear it?
A once dark night of soul
evaporated into a river
of gentle sound

The desert in my eyes
his loved wrapped safely
unravelled his heart.

A smile broken free of limitations
cut through the barbed wire
feet that ache to jump
then run.

Happiness lifting me higher
than the sun.
this love shimmers
He and I
are one.

© April 2012 Maria.Gornell

Sanpuku – NaPoWriMo day 9

Sometimes she’ll look away; her eyes speak nothing
but wilderness. He will say
‘Don’t go, if you go it will be a black night’
As opposed to what a blue velvet one
with a cliché of twinkling stars
a blanket, a big fire
and your lips
the stuff that wildest dreams are made of.

You know you manifested all of this
You even asked for the difficult spots.
Do you see me in your future?
My hands around a crystal ball
And I’m laughing so hard

Now because my fallopian tubes are useless
At least one is; I still wonder do I give off
Pheromones a stink of fertility
Or is a barren womb
A safely lit walk home.

And love asks so many things of her
A daily examination within
Try she must to tell her heart
To quiet; be grateful and don’t
Ask for too much.

They will say she needy
These diamonds in her eyes
Sparkle with ‘Sanpuku’
Not life
But a dead pool of aching
He’ll nurture and mend.

Don’t go for if you go it will be a black night
And the soul of the world will weep.

Did you know she wished on that moon
in the desert for one of the greatest
love stories in the history of the world.

Do you think maybe it isn’t you?
But a love affair with herself.

© April 2012 Maria.Gornell

Who lit this flame – NaPoWriMo day 8

White noise and hipsters
A full pot of chai
An empty cup.
Must I sit with the absence
Helpless – I could of
Said something profound?
He left £2 and escaped
Maybe the tunnel pulled
Him back
To the void.

I saw another sign
That said love
Left without my vices
I don’t smoke
I barely drink
I’ve only fucked
Once in 3 years

The skin sallow
On my halo
I blink
And I’m gone.

© April 2012 Maria.Gornell