A poem for Imbolc

•February 4, 2017 • Leave a Comment

Deep in the belly
something stirs
a hint of life
a small flame
in the darkness
a seed
not yet ready to emerge
as our bodies
sense a quickening
beneath the earth.

Something calls out to our depths
our winter dreaming hearts
let us ask ourselves
what lies frozen
can we be patient
till the light returns?

can the sound of our own breath
be a comfortable hum
vibrating in frequency
with our beloved earth
can we wrap ourselves gentle
in layers of fresh hope

oh Its been a long cold winter of
discontent
you can feel it in your bones
In strength
we can rise up

disregarding the illusions
of words and visions
that disturb our soul
so rest now beloveds
linger a while in the dark
envision and create
a soothing song
a lullaby for our weary hearts
to rock us back and forth
till our new earth
has begun
awakened to spring…

© 4th February 2017 Maria.Gornell

Conception

•January 31, 2017 • Leave a Comment

 

She sheds people
like skin flushed
breath blue
gypsy steps

heard the words
long before
‘you can’t make homes
out of people’

leave before your left.
abandoners come in every
conceivable way

we learnt this on our mothers laps
at our fathers feet, in our lovers beds
at work, our teachers lesson of the day.

Love lies dormant
a seed awaiting her direction
motherless arms
legs sinking
in the fear of engulfment

Till she runs in all directions
escaping an invisible light
the mirror of reflection
the burning skies

People are not cycles
to disregard when your done.
real beating hearts
feelings, flesh and bone.

A seed returned to grace
she says ‘now grow’

 

 © 31st January 2017 Maria.Gornell

Samhain offering

•October 31, 2016 • Leave a Comment

Samhain offering

I light up a beacon
to my ancestors
of tears
in grateful rise
this being alive.
I speak my truth
so that others
may…

My throat is open
my heart expanded
my womb over flows
with grief and pain
I pour my blood back
into the earth
my seed for love
my offering for peace
a rage that’s primal
a love that’s sacred
hope a feather
that falls to my drum
as I hear her heart beat
for a time my daughter
my grandchildren
not yet conceived
will behold a new
horizon..

Unknown

•October 4, 2016 • 4 Comments

They say it takes 6 weeks for a narcissist to realise
your gone. It forgot to mention how long its takes
for the victim to stop waiting for an apology
a sign the person has a conscience
a flicker of hope this world is not so cruel.
But the weeks have passed with only a memory
an evil grin staring back
last abusive words
fat stupid bitch whore.
‘It doesn’t matter how it started
this is how it ends.’

Now there is space
traces of my lips on windows
fingers cold
aching
the early morning dew
a sunset that promises
new beginnings hung
uncertain on horizon.
I let a scab form over the wound
you left
sometimes I am tempted to pick it
how dark the colour of my blood runs
the disappointment in my veins.
Our story
dead weight.
Stayed too long
swallowed my mothers worth
my fathers demons
you showed no mercy
and I
I fucked the soul
sucked the juice
you stole my words
I stole your notes
I fucked the nomad
into submission
and made him wait
for a ghost.

‘It doesn’t matter how it started
this is how it ends’…

© 4th October 2016 Maria.Gornell

Day 6: A letter to voice

•October 1, 2016 • 3 Comments

Day 6 last day of juice cleanse but will be doing further colon cleanse and liver one so there will be more of these poems.

A letter to my voice

Dear voice
I judged you harshly once
heard you on a recording
and recoiled in disgust.
I was 10 or 11 years old
in the parlour with Grandma
singing to top of the pops
when she said –
‘Oh you have a horrible voice’
Its sad the women in my
family were accustomed to
cutting each other down
with curt words;

‘who do you think you are’
I rarely sang outloud after,
my voice became monotone
I later developed thyroid disease.

In writing my silent voice
grew confident and loud
I learnt to speak my truth
that the pen was mightier
than the sword
that my voice was cathartic
that men liked to hear
my soft dulcet tones
that my orgasm sounded
beautiful in waves.

Voice I punished you with smoke
poisoned my throat
how dare you sound sexy
till my lungs warned me
enough is enough.

Voice you sing now
harmonise with angels
I feel them come through
creating celestrial energy
my throat aches from
years of repression
when I sing
my body is alive
loves frequency comes
spinning in all directions.
reminding me

I am enough..

© 30th September 2016 Maria.Gornell

Day 5: A letter to my heart

•September 30, 2016 • Leave a Comment

Day 5
A letter to my heart
Dear heart
I am listening
for guidance
the delicate beat
quickens today
I hear your sadness
vibrate louder
when I question
my worth?
When rolls of black and white
memories get tangled
faces of betrayal –
a primal rage risen
a wild stomp
a dance with Lilith
a yearning to go home.
But where is home
I ask?
I cook my mothers traditional
lentil soul recipe
like scouse before I
gave up meat
it brings me back
to a place of warmth and safety
like ready brek
an orange glow.
When did it begin
this finding comfort in food
in the neglect of touch
of being mothered
held or loved.
Dear Heart
I know you are broken
I’m putting all the pieces
together.
My body aches in loneliness
I watch it from windows
on trains
in dreams
I am giving it space to breathe
Heart welcome home.
© 29th September 2016 Maria.Gornell

Bones (Day 4) Love letters to myself

•September 29, 2016 • Leave a Comment

For those who have been following this blog – I decided to do a juice fast and during it to write love letters to myself for 6 days. I did something similar years ago during another fast, those letters were a lot different, I feel actually these recent poems are much more in awareness of my body and mindset, the highs and lows. The first few days were so difficult that I did not feel like writing loving things to my self at all, so instead of forcing it I was honest. Thanks for reading.

Day 4 – A letter to bones

Dear bones
alive and aching from
last nights Kundalini yoga.
I move slowly
body you feel lighter
I like the sensations.

Today the sun returned
the wind is in my hair
I have clarity,
I reflect on what has passed
people fall away like skin
grown tired of i
or I vibrating a new vibe.
I am still love.

I dance with my hips
hold other womens
bodies as they trust
my hands are gentle
my body flows
trusts the air
connects with earth
these are my spaces
to crumble and rise.

Bones that will be dust
one day.

© 28th September 2016 Maria.Gornell

 

 
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